hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
