i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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