update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
They took my balls.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
