I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We need to get me chipped asap
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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