I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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