So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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