Don't make out with my wife yet
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
