yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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