I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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