There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
