So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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