you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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