butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
