remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You took a bar mat shot.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
