is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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