i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
