You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dignity is for republicans.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How external is "for external use only"?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
