seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is my gift to your gina
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
