This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Fuck appropriateness.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
