OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
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