How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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