as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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