i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
