We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
