I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
