I didn't shave. On purpose
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
