We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
