3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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