what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
