so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize