you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
