drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
