Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
