the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
