Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
