quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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