U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I didn't notice because vodka
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
