Umm I'm too high to move.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
