She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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