Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
this hospital has no fireball
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
