Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
