Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
