yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
