i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
