i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
