My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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