Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
