Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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