He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
