Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
