i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just tell him i said nine months
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
