You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
