Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
