Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
