My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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