3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize