We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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