I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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