I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
