super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
