You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
