Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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