Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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